Monday, September 29, 2014

One Word : Atonement


     The word atonement is one we may use every Sunday, but do we use it everyday? Ive been thinking about this a lot lately. Within a week I’ve been in the hospital with some kidney problems. It all started this summer when I had some kidney stones , with anyone that has EVER had kidney stones they would know they are not a piece off cake. They say that having kidney stones is the closest pain any man will have to have to childbirth. Which makes me think, well that sucks! The pain of having a child without the cute baby to make it all worth it? Yikes. I feel like anyone that has passed a kidney stone should get some kind of award!
    This week I've been thinking if the Savior died on the cross and suffered in the garden then why are we required to pass through pain? The word atonement I have heard all of my life but not until this year have I experienced and understood at least a fraction of what it means (even if that). I once heard a talk by Neal A Maxwell ( a old apostle of the church) say - “Even though our experiences are micro compared to His, the process is the same” 
    A quote that has stuck with me says “ The atonement is not a doctrine that lends itself to some singular approach, like a universal formula . It must be felt, not just "figured": internalized ,not just analyzed. The pursuit of this doctrine requires the total person, for the atonement of Jesus Christ is the most supernal, mind -expanding, passionate doctrine this world or universe will ever know." - Tad R. Callister
    Those words sunk really deep in my heart this week. Sunday night I was in my apartment laying on the floor sobbing ( sounds so dramatic I know) I hadn’t eaten a real meal in probably five days and little did I know it was about to get even worse. I lied there crying as I started to say a prayer asking Heavenly Father to please make 
this stop. I pleaded that I would do anything. It seemed like it was one thing after another I started losing a little hope. I started asking what the point of all this was anyway. Then I realized but Amanda this is making you better. This is going to change your life. This is what the atonement of Jesus Christ is about. Its not about some singular experience or some approach to life. Patient endurance is not just being acted upon, not just something happening to you that may seem unfair. It is endurance! It is more than just pacing back and forth in your circumstances; it is not only accepting the things given to us, it is to acting for ourselves.
 The ONLY way through this life and not just the big stuff but the small stuff is through HIS INFINITE ATONEMENT. I know this because I am both weak and strong. I know this from not just one singular event but from many and from many to come just like the rest of us. Whether it be our trials are on the surface for everyone to see or if they are down low where someone may not see we are struggling, they are real and they will make us stronger. Life experiences scare me to death BUT as I use His LOVING and all powerful atonement EVERYDAY when I do fall it doesn’t matter how many times I fall I get back up and that is something commendable. I don’t stay down on myself and beat myself up because I am not perfect.  This year I have learned three things about the Savior's atonement:
1. The atonement is for EVERYONE. 
2. The atonement is not just for sin 
3. The atonement is infinite- its not just for a broken bone but also for a broken soul and broken mind. The atonement 
makes up for all the unfairness in the world. 
4. The atonement is all healing.

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